Modern familial system adopting the small family norm. The number of children is less compared to the previous generation. Many factors force the couple to have small families like social and economical. Having more than three children in a family make raising the eyebrows of many. ‘One child syndrome’ is the major issue associated with modern families. Having a sibling is always a blessing for another child for entire life.
Children are the driving force in a family. It is always a human tendency to compare and compete. There are some common areas of competition between the children like getting more attention from parents, complete the task first and more appreciation from the elders. These common reasons force them to develop a sense of getting jealous with another. ‘Sibling jealousy’ is the first move before entering into the state of ‘Sibling rivalry’.
Factors contributing to Sibling Rivalry
Birth Order of a Child: First born children tend to more participative in decision making along with parents results in having more power than the younger ones. The younger one is more emotional and tries to be more closed with parents. Whenever the younger one’s suggestions are considered more and elder one develops more attachment towards parents, the sibling jealousy starts and leads to rivalry.
Close spacing among siblings: Age gap between the siblings is a major factor. As the age gap increases there are less competition and difference in interests.
Gender preferences by parents: Some parents express their gender preferences. They openly say to the daughter ‘we wish you were a boy’. Statements like this badly affect the girl child and develop rivalry towards her male sibling.
Physical closeness: Intensity of sibling rivalry is more among the siblings who share a small room or small house. Here they always physically so close and always there is a chance of quarrels and conflicts.
Parenting skills: Overly strict and rigid parents make the children more submissive. But when they leave the children expresses the frustration among each other and results even in violent behaviours. Permissive parents offer more freedom results in uncontrollable behaviours among children. Both scenario there is a chance of developing unhealthy relationships among children.
Tactics reflected by the children due to sibling rivalry
Siblings provoke each other by some of the following actions. They may be more creative in this.
- Calling by names
- Stealing the things belong to another
- Blaming another for own mistakes
- Lying
- Arguing with another
- Spoiling or breaking the play materials of another
- Hitting
- Hiding something important to another
These actions are more upsetting the parents and make them worry much. Some times it is so challenging and forced them to get the help of external resources.
Suggestions for parents to prevent and manage sibling rivalry
- Encourage the elder child to help the younger
- Do not compare one child with another and avoid praising one and tease another
- Keep always out of the arguments among children
- Never encourage the violent attitude of any child inside the home
- Try to spend some with each child as much as possible
- Promote the spirit of unity by involving and sharing the household responsibilities equally at their level
Adult sibling rivalry
Quarrels and fights are common among siblings in a family. It is a day to day affair during childhood. Unfortunately, sibling jealousy, which is a hidden affair among the adult siblings, reflected as a sibling rivalry at some stage of life. Adult sibling rivalry badly affects familial health and equilibrium. There are so many reasons behind this. The pitiable fact is that the parents are in between their adult children and face emotional hardship. It is mainly witnessed among siblings by developing disputes and conflicts related to taking over the familial possessions and wealth. Overall, adult sibling rivalry no way contributing anything positively towards themselves, the younger generation, parents and other family members and society.
Overall, sibling rivalry is a common unhealthy affair among the siblings. Parents are playing a vital role to identify and treat the sibling jealousy among the children so that there is a chance of preventing sibling rivalry in adulthood. Every one of us has a role in it. Many occasions knowingly or unknowingly we praise one sibling and never bother about the inner feelings of another. Every child is having their potentials, it is the responsibility of the parents, teachers, elders and society to help them to identify their strengths and get success.
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