Trust: Sweet secret of a strong relationship

A relationship is an emotional pact between the individuals. It is a basic elementary requirement for a secured life. life without any relations are not considered as normal. Humans are social beings. A healthy life requires healthy relationships. Any form of relationship requires a certain amount of trust. The intensity of trust depends upon the nature of relationship. Relationship by blood doesn't require the trust much. Any other form of relationships established based on the ability of trust between the individual.

Trust is a firm belief in the reliability. In a practical sense, trust is confidence, faith and hope in something or with someone. It is a purely a psychological sense depends and vary from one person to another. Winning the trust of someone is not an easy task. Trust and relationship are having a positive direction of correlation. Not everyone is trust worthy to everyone. It is a 'selective sense' of everyone based on their own choice. 

Trust and Friendship

Friendship is unavoidable but optional in one's life. As long as we live in a society, friendship is a natural developmental happening at various stages. It starts from the stage of pre-nursery to almost a never-ending or not related to age factor. The journey of life gets an opportunity to interact and meet many through various sources like school, playmates, professional connections, fellow travellers, etc. Though many people are crossing and walking into our life, few are getting importance or winning our confidence.

First of all selection of friends is an important task. Friends are there to support, encourage, share and help in need. Superficial friends limited the interaction until the level of meeting their purpose. Deep friends are there to extent their hands in all situations no matter the result is success or failure. The beauty of 'genuine friendship' is developing the 'non-judgemental attitude'. Trust is the determining factor for the depth of friendship. Trust even covers up the negativities of friends.

Trust and familial relationship

Trust is a basic element much needed among the partners to make the husband and wife relationship to the next level, that is 'family as a unit'. Trust is not just thinking that the wife belongs to husband and husband belongs to wife. Above all, trust acts as a backbone for the intensity of closeness and intimacy among the couple. When the couple trusts each other, all other basic and higher activities in the family may move on smoothly and results in success and achievements.

Trust is a basic positive requirement among the partners to constitute a strong family.  Of course, it is not developing in a day or two. When the couple understands the importance of marriage, analyse the future and accepts the reality, makes them to develop a strong bonding between them. Whenever the challenges arise between the partners the trust on each other brings them together and repairing the damage.

Trust and current generation

Life style gets advanced day by day. It creates a lot of positive and negative mindset of younger generation. Generation gap is the major issue in a family between parents and children. Unfortunately trust is not considered as a major criterion for establishing a relationship. As we all know, lack of trust in relationship destroy it even before it starts. When a basement of relationship is not strong, results in challenges leading to severe mental damage. More than trusting, the other factors like money, physical appearance, and other attractive factors are playing important role in establishing a relationship. Another fact is that the stress tolerance among the younger generation has gone alarmingly down.

Trust and self 

Trust in self or self-belief is a pure psychological aspect and it is highly personalised. Some occasions, we are unable to develop trust even in genuine situations. This scenario is a result of previous mental traumas and presence of self doubts. When someone is unable to trust himself may develop 'mistrust' towards others. Feeling of insecurity, paranoid attitude and low self esteem are the results of 'lack of trust in self'. In simple words, negativity can be seen more among those who have self-doubts. Lack of self-trust suppress our energy, motivation, confidence and fails. Trust in our abilities is much needed and better than depending on or expecting other's help.

Finally, trust is a vital component of someone's comfort. Trust is a secret of happy and healthy relations. trust keeps moving the relationships so strong and steady. Remember the fact that some negative events are not the proven fact for generalisation. Positives and negatives, good and bad, right and wrong, best and worst happens always. Consider the positives, good, right and best. Learn from the negatives, bad, wrong and worst. Lead a balanced and peaceful life!

Body language – A language for better communication

Communication is essential in life to express one’s feelings and desires. Our needs are met through communication. It can be done in both formal and informal ways, based on the need. All of us know the importance of language in the process of communication. Along with language, bodily signs and expressions add the essence for communication. Communication without expressions and signs is considered ‘food without salt or sweet’. Body language is a part of non-verbal communication. Body language plays an important role while delivering a message more strongly. 

  

Based on research, 7% of our commination comes from verbal, 38% from vocal and the rest 55% expressed through body language. Body language increases the potential value of communication. Verbal communication is used primarily for conveying the information. Body language is used for negotiating interpersonal attitude and in some cases is used as a substitute for a verbal message. It is a skill of human to use behaviour and use different body movement to express feelings in communication. 

 

Four components of Body language:

1.      Body behaviour: Body behaviour can be understood is any of several changes in the physical location, place, or position of the material parts of the human form. It includes general appearance, body movement, posture, gesture, facial expression, eyes and gaze, touch and smell.

2.      Distance and space: The space between people keep when they communicate relies on the relationship between the speakers, insists of four zones: intimate zone (1-18 feet), personal zones for close friends (1.5-4 inches), social zone (4-12 inches) and public zone (over 12 inches). 

3.      Silence: Silence is also a part of speech. The silence can express the concerning of the communication we take part in. In general, silence indicates the time frame to express desire.

4.      Signs and symbols: Signs and symptoms are “a type of nonverbal communication form which can represent verbal communication”. They range from individualised expressions and national or internationally accepted signs (traffic signs)

 

Effects of body language in communication:

1.      Person’s appearance is the first impression; it gives the first impression to others judgement to talk or not with the strangers.

2.      Age, class, occupation are assessed by the way people dressing for themselves and project their pleasant appearance. 

3.      Body movement can show the attitude towards others, emotional state and the level of spirit. E.g: Showing low spirit by slumped posture.

4.      Silence results in providing ongoing interaction or feedback.

5.      Silence results in providing an interval in ongoing interaction or feedback

6.      Using signs and symptoms helps to get rid of the language barrier

7.      Eyes can express the real feelings

8.      Body language reflects the level of comfort of a person

9.      Adequate and appropriate body language of a teacher get more positive results among students in the teaching and learning process

10.                                  Expressions are incomplete without body language

 

Body language and culture

Body language may cause confusions by various cultural interpretations. Some of the signs are universally accepted. But not all. E.g: Sitting with crossed legs in front of elders is not acceptable in Tamil culture. Same way, using the left hand to hand over something to someone is considered as ‘disrespectful’. ‘Okay’ gesture stands for ‘all correct’ in general, but in some countries like France interpreted as ‘zero’ or ‘nothing’. It’s a difficult task for migrants to at the initial phase. 

All living species survive with the help of communication. Language is a great medium for everyone to communicate the conceived idea. It is a well-known fact that the language alone is inadequate for better communication. Body language reflects the state of mind. Body language is a great tool to influence others. 

“Action speaks more than words”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Insecurity - An enemy within the self

Every one of us living in a world where a lot of options and choices. All are blessed with our abilities and talents to lead our life. Scientific advancements and technology makes our life more sophisticated and gets a platform to practice our abilities. Individual interests and preferences are varying and results in choosing of different educational, career and entertaining options. Owning of costly and sophisticated materials bring us comfort, but one can not deny the role of emotions on the process of gaining satisfaction.

 

We live in a world of competition. Every one of us involved with some kind of competition by knowingly or unknowingly. Some occasions we are not even knowing our competitor. Not always the results are good and happen in a way we want. Moreover, often we compare our self with others. Unfortunately, for the first stroke of our eyes, the positives and achievements of others will be seen. Making the comparison brings a challenge for our self-esteem and reflected in the form of personal insecurity. 

 

Insecurity results in low self-esteem, low self-confidence. It brings a lot of negative thoughts. All of our positivity gets suppressed and negativity takes over. Overall, ending up with a failed attempt or escape from the attempt. There is no chance of achievement. Individual abilities get suppressed and even results in severe mental damage. Some of the real individual feelings as a result of insecurity are listed below:

· I am good for nothing; I am stupid

· I am unattractive; no one ever wants to be good with me

· I never get anything right with my attempts

· I am not like other people; I can’t do or perform like others

· I am a failure

· I am a loser

· I can’t make any friends, even I make I can’t maintain

· I never be able to quit drinking, smoking or overcome any kind of addiction

· I never accomplish anything.

This kind of negative thoughts comes in mind so often and force to pull out from our productive activities like quitting the job, discontinuation of studies, out of relationship etc.

 

Insecurity can be reflected in many areas of life. Some times it may affect the selected areas only. It varies from person to person. Here the fact is the person’s inner sense feel negatively and finding it difficult to change the attitude. Many insecure individuals seeking even therapies nowadays. 

 

Common areas of insecurity

• Generalised Insecurity involves with all moments, initiations and activities of life 
• Insecurity about workplace and responsibilities
• Insecurity over personal relationships
• Insecurity about the future, commonly seen in young adults

 

Suggestions to overcome insecurity

Insecurity is an inner, negative feeling. Only the person can feel the intensity of his or her problem, many occasions it can not be identified or treated better by others. Trained professionals deal with this condition better. But there are some easy ways to overcome on our own.

1. Deal back to your inner critic: Whenever the negative thoughts come in mind, talk yourself that you are strong enough to find the way. Remind yourself there is no gain by keeping a negative thought. 

2. Pre-plan the conversations or activities: There are some situations you may not be comfortable or challenging. It is always better to do some homework before facing them. Pre preparation helps in avoiding embracing moments eventually leading to a question mark in your confidence level.

3. Avoid social situations that make things worse for you: It is better to avoid the presence of conflicting situations. Arguments or compelling to use the physical force worsen the state of mental equilibrium and results in damaging the self-confidence and feels insecure.

4. Setting the limited, realistic goal: Every one of us has our aspirations. There is no limit on our aspirations and imaginations. But the aim or goal in life should be based on realistic. Setting up the goals step by step is the wisest way of achieving a secured future.  

5. Focus on self not on others: Your life is there for you to live. Comparing yourself with another is not a better choice of an idea. Only a few characteristics of an individual is visible outwardly. Hence focus on yourself and make your better choices and decisions.

6. Try to have a good circle around you: Selection of friend or friendship circle is so important in life. Genuine friends never judge. You do right or wrong they support. You can very well share your insecurities and get better suggestions for your challenges.

7. Approach the professionals: It is always good to get the opinions of experts belongs to mental health. They can help you to overcome your insecure feelings professionally. You can minimise your negative thoughts or replace them with the positivity and move on.

 

Insecurity is an inner threat. It occurs in different forms on different occasions. Day to day challenges makes us feel insecure. Insecurity about the next stage of life is a common challenge. Some times it may even lead to self-destructive thoughts and attempts. There is nothing to get panic or feel very low when you face challenges or failures. Consider them as a good learning experience and move on. Trust yourself first, look back your achievements so far, your interest, your will power is well enough to construct your great future!